The World Series of Vigilantism
by turbomagnus
Summary: What happens when two sports equipment-using vigilantes meet?


Disclaimer: I don't own 'You're Under Arrest!' or TMNT, they belong to their actual owners whose characters I'm just toying with for personal amusement and no profit.

Author's Note; Blame, indirectly, Greydon Creed and his Love Hina fic 'Contract Labor' for this. After reading it, I ended up wanting to know more about YUA, which led me to learning about Strikeman and having the thought enter my mind and generate into a plot bunny about what would happen if YUA's baseball throwing vigilante met up with another sports equipment armed vigilante...

You can consider it an exercise in divergent personalities despite similar proclivities, if that helps.

* * *

"The World Series of Vigilantism"  
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

* * *

In the foyer of a New York City electronics store, two men faced off...

"My Flames Of Justice are diminished!" Strikeman announced in a high-pitched voice without his usual booming delivery as he clutched the injured area and dropped to his knees in pain. Nearby, the baseball whose return had harmed him rolled away unnoticed. Across the room next to the door that led into the store proper, without any sympathy for his opponent, Casey Jones spun his baseball bat in a manner similar to that Leonardo would his ninjato before returning it to the golf bag slung across his back.

"I don't know 'bout Japan," Casey shrugged, smirking, "But, uh, here in the Big Apple, we'd call that a 'walk'. So, how 'bout takin' one, huh?"

"Foul miscreant!" Strikeman retorted in the same high-pitch, "Have you no respect for justice?"

"Hey, this is New York, the only things vigilantes can get away with tossing around are ninja throwing stars - save the baseballs for Yankee Stadium."

"Villian!" Strikeman half-shouted as he managed to regain his feet, "Though two of you that can make the hits there may be, my Flames of Justice will burn away your vile pride like the heat from my fastballs!"

Casey blinked slowly, "Man, are you on any medication I should be made aware of before, you know, I kick your butt?"

"My only addiction is to righting the wrongs of criminal and socially unacceptable behavior!"

"Yeah, and you do this by running around in a wrestling mask and throwing baseballs at people," Casey reached into his bag and pulled out a hockey stick, "See, me, I just have a temper problem - I go out and beat up muggers and thieves to work things out and people benefit from it... you just pelted a store full of people with baseballs because one woman didn't get employee help right when she asked for it... Yeah, okay... That's not helping people, that's being just this side of a complete psycho."

With fury in his eyes, Strikeman pulled another baseball from the back on his back, "You dishonor the sacred path of the vigilante by your attitude, gaijin!"

Casey blinked disbelievingly, "Sacred path of... and I thought the one with the whole 'Shinobi-Ma' thing going on was weird."

"There is nothing weird in justice!"

"Maybe you need to cut down on the caffine or, uh, the sugar... 'cause Mikey doesn't get this far gone even on a full binge and that's sayin' something. Now, since you won't, uh, check yourself... I'll do it for you, how 'bout that, huh?"

"I would gladly invite you to make your attempt, pale imitator," Strikeman struck what he thought was a heroic pose, feet apart, chin raised, right arm drawn close with baseball in hand, left hand pointing at Casey, "But if I do, I won't have time to pack and make my plane back home, sorry!"

Strikeman suddenly turned and moved towards the outside door, but as soon as it slid open, the opening was filled by a bulky green figure.

'Kappa,' was his last thought before being sent into unconsciousness by a green fist.

The red bandanna-wearing turtle looked down at the man he had just knocked out, then up at Casey and shrugged, "Friend'a yours?"

Casey pointed a finger at Raphael, "Hey, pizza-breath, I ever start actin' like that, feel free to throw me in the river."

"I would," Raph retorted, "But April's got first dibs on it."

* * *

Author's Note; Yes, Strikeman thinking that Raph's a kappa is meant to be a reference to the third movie.


End file.
